Stephen Pimley | Daily Life,Family,Memories | Wednesday, November 26th, 2003

My mom is out of the hospital. We have to find a sarcoid specialist because it seems whatever fucked up her heart isn’t anything normal.

Stephen Pimley | Daily Life,Family,Memories | Saturday, November 22nd, 2003

My mom is in the hospital again. She might get a pacemaker implanted in the new few days depending on whether or not she had a heart attack. I’m so tired that I’ll keep this one short.

Stephen Pimley | Daily Life,Memories,Random,Thoughts | Friday, November 7th, 2003

I wish I could root through my subconscious like a musty storage bin long forgotten deep in the closet. Tossing away useless and damaging thoughts at will while caressing the few rare finds that serve a positive purpose. Or maybe there are many. Maybe most of them are good? Could it be merely the filter that is malfunctioning in this manner? I don’t know really. I just know all the filth that gets through…

I am listening to a song called Nautilus and although it makes me think of sadness and loneliness it does not possess a dirty hint. None of the disease that infects so much that exists in this world.

Stephen Pimley | Dreams,Memories | Wednesday, November 5th, 2003

It started out with me at a camp for people that had been molested or raped… The counselor was talking about stuff while I groped the girls around me then everyone got up and we separated into two teams to play some game. I guess it was like tag or something but instead we just wandered around exploring. We were in woods or something but there were stone doorways and caves. There was an archway and anytime a person passed through it some sort of shock wave would hit their body. Some girl didn’t believe me so I grabbed her and moved her back and forth through it so she would get hit by the odd pulse. I ended up at some sort of hollowed out tower made of musty stone. There was a ladder that I climbed up but it was broken and I couldn’t get up to the platform that I could see above. I walked back to find the other people and found that it was just guys now and they were all blowing each other up with explosives. It continued like that for a while. I started to wake up and I could feel my body thrashing in the bed and burning up but I grasped at the dream and held myself in it through force of will. It was really odd how I was conscious enough to force myself to stay asleep. I remember at one point thinking I had broken my teeth out then I realized my tongue wasn’t feeling my gums, but my mouth guard instead. It took a minute to register mentally that I had put it in as I was running my tongue around my mouth to check my teeth. I think it was probably another hour or two before I actually let myself wake up. Of course time isn’t very easy to keep track of when you are a brain barely attached to a body.

Stephen Pimley | Daily Life,Family,Memories | Wednesday, November 5th, 2003

My mom had her surgery. I drank myself to sleep and had really disturbing dreams like always.

I haven’t heard from Beckie yet which is weird. I figured she would have emailed me or something to say that she got to Ohio alright. She’ll probably show up in a week or so, otherwise I’ll have to believe that scuzzy guy raped and killed her.

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